Your fatwa is BS !

by Muezzin London Dry Djinn

Salman got a fatwa.
No, we are not talking about Salman Rushdie, but he is from India too. The "guilty your honor" is Bollywood's actor Salman Khan, often known as Bollywood's Bad boy.
His "unforgivable" crime against islam ? Having unveiled his wax statue at Madame Tussaud's in London !

He is not fatwa-ed to death, because islam is a peacefull religion (yeah, right...). He is just no longer muslim and must read the shahada all over again to go back to the umma. The gag is detailed in the Hindustan Times article 'Fatwa against Salman for Tussauds statue'

It is the famous (irony...) Mufti Darul Ifta Salim Ahmad Kasmi who fatwa-ed so, after being asked by the famous too (irony too) Dr Sakhawat Khan.

The islamic law, sharia, allows cutting off the hands and feet, or flogging the drunkard and fornicator, but stricly forbids painting and sculpting. Allah loves what is beautifull is supposed to be a muslim saying, but the islamic meaning of "beauty" sounds somewhat different from the western one...
A wax statue is a sculpture, so it is VERBOTEN HARAM, strictly FORBIDEN !

Let's be diplomat so that the famous Mufti the article is talking about will understand he should seriously consider being concerned about heavily toning his fatwa fantasies.

The excerpt of the article allowing a SITA action is the following :
A fatwa has been issued against the actor by Dehradun-based Mufti Darul Ifta Salim Ahmad Kasmi.
Full name (full, indeed !), town, continent : that's (almost) enough to find the public address of the great mufti.

A "Dehradun india" search on Google allows to find in Wikipedia the website of the town http://dehradun.nic.in/ which indicates it is the Capital of Uttarakhand State with more than 400.000 people.

In the international telephone directory infobel.com, click on India in the zone Asia & Middle East.
Then click on the link Bharat Sanchar Nigam Ltd which gives access to a State-wise Telephone Directory.
In the list of the states, click on Uttaranchal (it is Uttarakhand, the english writing of the bengali is erratic...).
In the menu on top of the page, unfold Directory then choose Dehradun SSA (what is the meaning of SSA ? No idea !).
Finaly we open the form allowing to find telephone and address of people in the town of Dehradun, India, from their name.

Unfortunately... neither Darul Ifta Salim Ahmad Kasmi nor Sakhawat Khan are listed !

BUT... if we search for only darul, we find "MADARSA DARUL ULEM FAZERASHMI".
Knowing that madarsa is an islamic school, and because we cannot find the Empty-Dumpty mufti, or his client, we will search for all the madarsa in the town of Dehradun. No doubt that Empty-Dumpty mufti hangs around one of them and, anyway, diplomatic letters from all around the world are good for international relations.
The form gives four addresses (and telephone). The cryptic words null all over the list are computer bugs (display of empty datas : the high reputation of indian computer engineers is a fake, pure propaganda from globalization and delocalization fans !)

Let's print our diplomatic letters for all the Darul Ifta etc. Muftis in Dehradun :

1. Print (File > Print... or Ctrl+P) the first page of Hindustan Times article 'Fatwa against Salman for Tussauds statue'. This will tell them why they are receiving letters.

2. On the back, print (File > Print... or Ctrl+P) first page of this blog article.
If they want to sue somebody regarding globalization of freedom of speech, they will know who to attack (forget about dynamite suits please).

3. Basic stamp allows sending two paper sheets. Print (File > Print... or Ctrl+P) as you whish :
- first and second page of the hilarious article Une bonne claque aux idées qui rampent ! by cartoonist Steph Bergol
or...
- the two first pages of chapter 12 of 1923 book "Islam and the musulman psychologiy" by André Servier. If you feel sadistic today, you can instead print the two first pages in french (chapitre 13 in the original edition)
or...
- if you feel very sadistic you can send one of the various french sum-up about islam.

4. Send your SITA letter to one of the four madarsas previously found.
From France to India, stamp at 0.85 € (jan. 2008). Here are the rates from Belgium, Swiss, Luxembourg, Canada, le Maroc, Algeria, Tunisia et Monaco). Other countries can join !

5. Done ? Tell us on the Sitathon to push other people to act. You can also subscribe to our Newsletter.

You've done all the SITA actions but you still would like to act ? Visit Amnesty International.